哈佛大學(xué)2022年優(yōu)秀文書范文公布(上篇)-故事類文書，細(xì)節(jié)見人品，以情感取勝

　　哈佛大學(xué)作為常青藤成員之一，不僅在學(xué)術(shù)水平上嚴(yán)苛，更在軟實(shí)力和品格特性上也嚴(yán)格要求，以至于除了常見的標(biāo)化成績和GPA和高中課程之外，這里對于文書材料也很重視，以至于書寫出一篇優(yōu)秀的文書，成為進(jìn)入哈佛大學(xué)的必要前提，近期，thecrimson.com《哈佛大學(xué)深紅報》刊出了10篇哈佛大學(xué)2022年優(yōu)秀文書范文，下面是前三篇，后7篇，將以中篇和下篇的方式出現(xiàn)!

　　PART 101:Eda's Essay

　　Successful Harvard Essay:

　　Homeless for Thirteen Years

　　I sat on my parents’ bed weeping with my head resting on my knees. “Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you have to show me the house and then take it away from me?” Hopelessly, I found myself praying to God realizing it was my last resort.

　　For years, my family and I found ourselves moving from country to country in hopes of a better future. Factors, such as war and lack of academic opportunities, led my parents to pack their bags and embark on a new journey for our family around the world. Our arduous journey first began in Ku?ov?, Albania, then Athens, Greece, and then eventually, Boston, Massachusetts. Throughout those years, although my family always had a roof over our heads, I never had a place I could call “home.”

　　That night that I prayed to God, my mind raced back to the night I was clicking the delete button on my e-mails, but suddenly stopped when I came upon a listing of the house. It was September 22, 2007 —eight years exactly to the day that my family and I had moved to the United States. Instantly, I knew that it was fate that was bringing this house to me. I remembered visiting that yellow house the next day with my parents and falling in love with it. However, I also remembered the heartbreaking phone call I received later on that week saying that the owners had chosen another family’s offer.

　　A week after I had prayed to God, I had given up any hopes of my family buying the house. One day after school, I unlocked the door to our one-bedroom apartment and walked over to the telephone only to see it flashing a red light. I clicked PLAY and unexpectedly heard the voice of our real estate agent. “Eda!” she said joyfully. “The deal fell through with the other family—the house is yours! Call me back immediately to get started on the papers.” For a moment, I stood agape and kept replaying the words in my head. Was this really happening to me? Was my dream of owning a home finally coming true?

　　Over the month of November, I spent my days going to school and immediately rushing home to make phone calls. Although my parents were not fluent enough in English to communicate with the bank and real estate agent, I knew that I was not going to allow this obstacle to hinder my dream of helping to purchase a home for my family. Thus, unlike a typical thirteen-year-old girl’s conversations, my phone calls did not involve the mention of makeup, shoes, or boys. Instead, my conversations were composed of terms, such as “fixed-rate mortgages,” “preapprovals,” and “down payments.” Nevertheless, I was determined to help purchase this home after thirteen years of feeling embarrassed from living in a one-bedroom apartment. No longer was I going to experience feelings of humiliation from not being able to host sleepovers with my friends or from not being able to gossip with girls in school about who had the prettiest room color.

　　I had been homeless for the first thirteen years of my life. Although I will never be able to fully repay my parents for all of their sacrifices, the least I could do was to help find them a home that they could call their own—and that year, I did. To me, a home means more than the general conception of “four walls and a roof.” A home is a place filled with memories and laughter from my family. No matter where my future may lead me, I know that if at times I feel alone, I will always have a yellow home with my family inside waiting for me.

　　專家點(diǎn)評：

　　誠實(shí)的、令人心碎的、強(qiáng)大的。

　　這是我們閱讀Eda的文書后，首先想到的三個詞。

　　我們喜歡Eda的文書的地方在于，它有令人耳目一新的脆弱性。太多的申請文書“太”完美了，而Eda不會扭曲真相，即使承認(rèn)她的內(nèi)心想法可能會給她帶來負(fù)面的印象。例如，她以她在父母床上哭泣的場景開始整篇文書，并將自己的不幸歸咎于他們。通過如此誠實(shí)的描述，Eda展示了她隨著時間的推移，得到真正的成長。

　　在整篇文書中，她的個人聲音也很強(qiáng)烈。當(dāng)她談到愛上“那棟黃色的房子”時，我們腦海中會自動浮現(xiàn)出這棟房子的形象;當(dāng)她談到得知“那棟黃色房子”被賣給另一個家庭時所經(jīng)歷的心碎時，我們也感到心痛。她故意選擇“播放”發(fā)送給她的語音郵件，隨后展示了她的真實(shí)想法，這進(jìn)一步促使我們與她一起重溫她的經(jīng)歷。

　　然而，她不僅僅分享了她的經(jīng)歷，還強(qiáng)調(diào)了這段經(jīng)歷是多么不尋常。她沒有和其他13歲同齡女生一樣閑聊化妝品或鞋子，而是與房產(chǎn)中介談?wù)摴潭ɡ省⒌盅嘿J款和首付……雖然她沒有明確說明這一點(diǎn)(她不需要這樣做)：很明顯，Eda不得不快速成長，成為一個更強(qiáng)大的人。

　　她對“家”這個詞的理解，從她頭頂上物理意義的屋頂演變?yōu)楦橄蟮奈蓓敗＜遥褪撬摹盎貞浐蜌g笑”所在的地方。最后，她接受了父母做出的犧牲，并學(xué)會為自己的成長感到自豪。

　　Eda是一個能夠克服任何挑戰(zhàn)的人，這使她從眾多申請者中脫穎而出。

　　PART202:Yukta's Essay

　　Successful Harvard Essay: Yukta

　　Garishly lined with a pearlescent lavender, my eyes idly scanned the haphazard desk in front of me, settling on a small kohl. I packed the ebony powder into my waterline with a shaky hand, wincing at the fine specks making their way into my eyes.

　　The girl in the mirror seemed sharper, older, somehow. At only 12, I was relatively new to the powders and blushes that lined my birthday makeup kit, but I was determined to decipher the deep splashes of color that had for so long been an enigma to me.

　　After school involved self-inflicted solitary confinement, as I shut myself in my bedroom to hone my skills. The palette’s colors bore in, the breadth of my imagination interwoven into now-brittle brushes. Much to my chagrin, my mom walked in one day, amused at my smudged lipstick, which congealed on the wispy hairs that lined my upper lip.

　　“Halloween already?” she asked playfully.

　　I flushed in embarrassment as she got to work, smoothing my skin with a brush and filling the gaps in my squiggly liner. Becoming a makeup aficionado was going to take some help.

　　“What’s this even made of?” I asked, transfixed by the bright powder she was smattering on my cheeks.

　　“You know, I’m not sure,” she murmured. “Maybe you should find out.”

　　I did.

　　Hours down the internet rabbit hole, I learned that the shimmery powder was made of mica, a mineral commonly used in cosmetics. While the substance was dazzling, its production process was steeped in humanitarian violations and environmental damage. Determined to reconcile my burgeoning love for makeup with my core values, I flung the kit into the corner of my drawer, vowing to find a more sustainable alternative. Yes, I was every bit as dramatic as you imagine it.

　　Now 17, I approach ethical makeup with assured deliberation. As I glance at my dusty kit, which still sits where I left it, I harken back on the journey it has taken me on. Without the reckoning that it spurred, makeup would still simply be a tool of physical transformation, rather than a catalyst of personal growth.

　　Now, each swipe of eyeliner is a stroke of my pen across paper as I write a children’s book about conscious consumerism. My flitting fingers programmatically place sparkles, mattes, and tints across my face in the same way that they feverishly move across a keyboard, watching algorithms and graphs integrate into models of supply chain transparency. Makeup has taught me to be unflinching, both in self expression and my expectations for the future. I coat my lips with a bold sheen, preparing them to form words of unequivocal urgency at global conferences and casual discussions. I see my passion take flight, emboldening others to approach their own reckonings, uncomfortable as they may be. I embark on a two-year journey of not buying new clothes in a statement against mass consumption and rally youth into a unified organization. We stand together, picking at the gritty knots of makeup, corporate accountability, and sustainability as they slowly unravel.

　　I’m not sure why makeup transfixes me. Perhaps it’s because I enjoy seeing my reveries take shape. Yukta, the wannabe Wicked Witch of the West, has lids coated with emerald luster and lips of coal. Yukta, the Indian classical dancer, wields thick eyeliner and bright crimson lipstick that allow her expressions to be amplified across a stage. Deep rooted journeys of triumph and tribulation are plastered across the surface of my skin — this paradox excites me.

　　Perhaps I am also drawn to makeup because as I peel back the layers, I am still wholly me. I am still the young girl staring wide-eyed at her reflection, earnestly questioning in an attempt to learn more about the world. Most importantly, I still carry an unflagging vigor to coalesce creativity and activism into palpable change, one brushstroke at a time.

　　專家點(diǎn)評:

　　這個學(xué)生通過一個像化妝品一樣常見的家庭用品，展開了獨(dú)特且接受度高的敘述。這個物品被賦予在她個人和文化身份的方方面面，使讀者能夠立即了解到這個學(xué)生的個性。她通過對周圍環(huán)境的觀察，帶我們走進(jìn)她的世界，并在不偏離主題的情況下，講述了一段成長的故事。

　　這位學(xué)生在敘事性和創(chuàng)造性寫作元素之間取得了平衡，而這正是成功的個人陳述所不可或缺的。作者讓我們瞥見了她多年來的個人發(fā)展，將化妝作為自我反省和發(fā)現(xiàn)的媒介。她巧妙地利用化妝品系列的顏色和元素，展開了生動的描述。她對于意象的靈活運(yùn)用也成為這篇文書成功的關(guān)鍵。她利用一個很容易與消費(fèi)主義、“膚淺”聯(lián)系在一起的物品，來支持她所倡導(dǎo)的社會和道德的斗爭。

　　我們還看到，這篇文書的作者有一個明確的聲音。當(dāng)許多學(xué)生試圖通過各種各樣的描寫來提升寫作水平時，這位作者能夠操縱一種充滿活力的寫作風(fēng)格，并保持吸引力、節(jié)奏和分寸。通過這篇文書的每一個字，我們了解到作者關(guān)心什么：有意識的消費(fèi)主義、創(chuàng)造力和行動主義;我們也了解到她是如何思考的：好奇、無私，并帶有女權(quán)主義色彩。

　　作者在這篇文書的開頭采用了一個文書寫作的成功策略，即用豐富的形容詞詳細(xì)描述了一個小的場景，并對本人及其在社會中的地位給出更廣義的評論。最后，這名學(xué)生的文書對自己的申請形象進(jìn)行了補(bǔ)充，幫助讀者了解她多年以來的倡議、可持續(xù)性實(shí)踐、以及她想要為身邊的人帶來積極的影響。

　　PART303:Tony's Essay

　　Successful Harvard Essay:

　　Beauty in Complexity

　　Gazing up at the starry sky, I see Cygnus, Hercules, and Pisces, remnants of past cultures. I listen to waves crash on the beach, the forces of nature at work. Isn’t it odd how stars are flaming spheres and electrical impulses make beings sentient? The very existence of our world is a wonder; what are the odds that this particular planet developed all the necessary components, parts that all work in unison, to support life? How do they interact? How did they come to be? I thought back to how my previously simplistic mind-set evolved this past year.

　　At Balboa, juniors and seniors join one of five small learning communities, which are integrated into the curriculum. Near the end of sophomore year, I ranked my choices: Law Academy first—it seemed the most prestigious—and WALC, the Wilderness Arts and Literacy Collaborative, fourth. So when I was sorted into WALC, I felt disappointed at the inflexibility of my schedule and bitter toward my classes. However, since students are required to wait at least a semester before switching pathways, I stayed in WALC. My experiences that semester began shifting my ambition-oriented paradigm to an interest-oriented one. I didn’t switch out.

　　Beyond its integrated classes, WALC takes its students on trips to natural areas not only to build community among its students, but also to explore complex natural processes and humanity’s role in them. Piecing these lessons together, I create an image of our universe. I can visualize the carving of glacial valleys, the creation and gradation of mountains by uplift and weathering, and the transportation of nutrients to and from ecosystems by rivers and salmon. I see these forces on the surface of a tiny planet rotating on its axis and orbiting the sun, a gem in this vast universe. Through WALC, I have gained an intimate understanding of natural systems and an addiction to understanding the deep interconnections embedded in our cosmos.

　　Understanding a system’s complex mechanics not only satisfies my curiosity, but also adds beauty to my world; my understanding of tectonic and gradational forces allows me to appreciate mountains and coastlines beyond aesthetics. By physically going to the place described in WALC’s lessons, I have not only gained the tools to admire these systems, but have also learned to actually appreciate them. This creates a thirst to see more beauty in a world that’s filled with poverty and violence, and a hunger for knowledge to satisfy that thirst. There are so many different systems to examine and dissect—science alone has universal, planetary, molecular, atomic, and subatomic scales to investigate. I hope to be able to find my interests by taking a variety of courses in college, and further humanity’s understanding through research, so that all can derive a deeper appreciation for the complex systems that govern this universe.

　　專家點(diǎn)評:

　　Tony的文書以在觀星為開篇，向讀者展示他對自然界、無生命體和生命本身的無限好奇心。這種天真的奇思妙想被藝術(shù)性地呈現(xiàn)出來，但這篇文書成功的原因是，作者能夠思考深刻的概念而不至于迷失。

　　故事圍繞一個看似毫不相干的事情展開：一次隨機(jī)的選擇將Tony分配到荒野藝術(shù)方向，而不是他更喜歡的法律，因此他很痛苦。

　　我們從他承認(rèn)自己受制于 "以野心為導(dǎo)向的范式"，而不是學(xué)習(xí)他最感興趣的東西中，看到了他的脆弱。然而，通過文書的其余部分，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，Tony繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)荒野藝術(shù)的決定徹底改變了他。他的視角從“簡單化思維”轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)槌撩杂凇袄斫馕覀冇钪嬷械纳顚勇?lián)系”。

　　Tony的文字中蘊(yùn)含著力量，讓我們看到了他潛在的思想廣度和熱情。從想象 "冰川山谷的雕刻 "，到陶醉于自然系統(tǒng)的復(fù)雜機(jī)制，這篇文書展示了Tony對整個世界的贊賞。

　　觀察到Tony對生命關(guān)聯(lián)性的知識渴求，我們更加堅信，他不斷廣闊的視角將引導(dǎo)他的學(xué)習(xí)進(jìn)入更多令人興奮的未知領(lǐng)域。

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